Welcome back to Don’t Call It A Picks Competition, our weekly column where Matt, Bob and Harry pick five college football games against the spread and make appalling jokes at pretty much everyone’s expense. As always, you’re invited to pick with us in the comment section, and we’ll post the standings each week.


In last week’s actio–you know what, why do we even do this part? I doubt people really need to see it all that much, because if you’re here, you watch your college football. Matt was right to ditch it last week. Also, I enjoy not doing this because I’m lazy.

Here are the beautiful standings and before Matt can add the edit, yes I am indeed an asshole. Take a nice gander at that triple .400 we’re rocking from last week.

Season Last Week
Harry 36-30 (.545) 2-3
Bob 29-37 (.439) 2-3
Matt 28-38 (.424) 2-3

Here’s the peanut gallery, where Lee Rosenberg is on a freaking roll. We mocked him when he went 1-9 over two weeks, so it’s only fair to credit him for erasing that slump with a 9-1 mark over the last two. Not quite good enough to catch Bernie in winning percentage right now though.

Win Percentage Season Record Last Week
Bernie .612 30-19 4-1
Lee .591 39-27 4-1
Sam .558 29-23 0-2
Jacob .538 (Nate Silver!) 35-30 3-2
Drew .500 28-28 2-3
Mike .464 26-30 1-4
Julian .464 26-30 3-2
Creed .442 27-34 2-3
Bobby .375 12-20

Remember to leave your picks in the comments!


Here are this week’s games. All times listed in GOD’S TIME ZONE as usual. Please remove your hat and salute Michael R. Pence as you pick each of these lines. While we will not be picking the Pac-12 Championship Game due to it taking place on Friday night instead of Saturday, we would still encourage you to TAKE. A. LOOK. AT. THESE. BUFFS.

Temple at #19 Navy (-2.5), 11 AM, ABC

American Championship Game, at Navy

Harry: Navy -2.5

Bob: Navy has just 6.5 second-order wins! Temple has 9.3! Temple, featuring the 9th-ranked defense in the country, looks to be the legitimately better team when you break it down, as Navy has scraped by on narrow wins all year. I like Temple to win this game. Temple +2.5

Matt: As Bob mentioned, the advanced stats like Temple in this match-up. Anecdotally though, Navy has been incredible over the past month. The Midshipmen punted just twice in the month of November. That’s nuts, and makes me think they’ll take it over Temple. Navy -2.5

#10 Oklahoma State at #9 Oklahoma (-11), 11:30 AM, FOX

While not technically a conference championship game, the winner is the champion of the Big 12.

Harry: Oklahoma State +11

Bob: Top-ranked offense in the entire country averaging… *does math*… a lot of points over the past nine weeks versus a slightly less great offense, both facing average defenses. Sounds like the Big 12. I would be surprised to see the Cowboys take this one, but this spread is too far for me to feel comfortable. Oklahoma State +11

Matt: Oklahoma has been pretty strong lately. Oklahoma -11

#1 Alabama (-24) vs. #15 Florida, 3, CBS

SEC Championship Game, in Atlanta, GA

Harry: Florida +24

Bob: Florida has the #7 defense in the country and is also a solid football team, rendering those points too many. I do not expect a close game, however. Florida +24

Matt: This is basically about whether or not you think Alabama can score 25 points on Florida’s defense. I say yes. RAWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLL TTTTIIIIIIIDEEEEE -24 (Alabama 25, Florida 0)

#3 Clemson (-10) vs. #23 Virginia Tech, 7, ABC

ACC Championship Game, in Orlando, FL

Harry: VA Tech +10

Bob: Virginia Tech skated by winning the exact number of games it needed to on an easy schedule. Clemson is, by any measure, the far better football team. I expect Clemson to win handily, cementing a spot in the Playoff. Clemson -10

Matt: Clemson has had a number of close games, but I don’t really think Virginia Tech is anything special. No upset here. Clemson -10

#6 Wisconsin (-3) vs. #7 Penn State, 7, FOX

Big Ten Championship Game, in Indianapolis, IN

Harry: Penn State +3

Bob: Having followed the Big Ten closely all year, I plain and simple think Wisconsin is the slightly better team. Wisconsin -3

Matt: There is no universe in which I will pick Penn State. Wisconsin -3

Leave your picks in the comments!

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